I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
