I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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