She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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