U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
