Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
