And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
