You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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