Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
