The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
