Soap is not a condiment
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
