I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
