Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize