Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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