She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im calling her cock vulture from now on
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
