you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
