It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I love you. Go after that dick
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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