I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
