Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
