Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
