i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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