Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
