mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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