sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
