I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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