I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize