But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
