do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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