id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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