just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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