i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
