Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize