I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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