FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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