Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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