Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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