this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
operation have a gay friend backfired
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
