i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
