YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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