Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
