You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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