Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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