Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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