there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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