things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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