yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
