worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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