My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
