I'm laying in your front yard are you home
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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