Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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