yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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