six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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