That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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