You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
