If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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