he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
