I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
