hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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