I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
