it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think I won the penis lottery.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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